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♥ Saturday, September 10, 2005♥

Last night mom was really mad. Since Michael and I didn't call last night she went postal on us. She keep fussing on how she didn't approve of Mrs.Pat's thinking and how I went on the highway. I didn't know I wasnt allowed on the highway. Well I had also told mom that I didn't want to go do the cook out fundraier. That got her even more upset. So I went to bed to calm my nerves. I was going hysterical, wasn't even funny. So while I was trying to sleep I was craving blood. Isn't that wierd. That never happens to me. So I stabbed myself twice with the pen tip from my art class. It only hurt like a shot and nothing more. I was a bit dissapointed. I think I may need some help. But I am never ever going to tell my mom this. I don't want her to worry. Shoot I am not perfect. I never wanted to be this way. So why am I. Makes no sense. I fell like being on stage and preforming. I feel like acting, being someone I am not, or someone that I want to be. But back to the subject, mom wants to talk to me tonight. I never want to tell her what is going on, or my feelings, because she may hit me. She hit michelle before, so when is she going to hit me. I never know. It is just so hard to please her, so I am never succesful.


my donut-addict STOPS!