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♥ Monday, July 04, 2005♥

I called Kenneth last night, with large crocidile tears. I had a bad dream. See we was talking about God last night. Kenneth wanted a stable relationship with God and I had already knew that. Well I was listening to OOE Hymns and one of the songs really got to me. I pray and begged for forgiveness and I just stayed on the ground. Well then I layed down, and when I came to I was breathing all hard, hands were shaking, my own hands were grqabbing me forcefully. I was cry ing to "stop" I fully regained consciencness . I couldn't get up to my run to my mom, so I called Kenneth. I had to ring him 3 times in order to get his attetion. Turns out he had fallen asleep in the middle of the convo. So I was telling him my dream. He told me to calm down, and that " I love you, you know that right?" I just wanted so badly for him to be in the same room with me; holding me as he stops my tears with his cotton shirt. He would be stroking my hair till we fall asleep. It wouldnt be an intamente (spell) sleep but more of a loving love. You know? I didn't want to get off the phone with him this afternoon. I actually wanted him to do all the talking. It makes me feel better. I nearly cried because I missed him. In a way I still do. I know that he can call me but still. Just once I want to hold him in my arms again.


my donut-addict STOPS!