<body>

♥ Sunday, March 20, 2005♥

Yester I had failed my driving test, I was kicking myself, cause i hit the flag. My mom was praticing her nursing stuff on me and she had taken my blood pressure. It was a bit high, but everything elese was normal. I had began to cry and she told me "Nothing is wrong with you." But I couldn't help it. It just all came out, so I was going to bed. I was feeling sad, so I called Kenneth.I asked him if he could tell me something nice. He said he liked it when I talk low.I said thanks about ready to hang up and go to bed, but he just kept talking. Talking softly, and quietly to me. It was very soothing. Right then and there I imagined him lying next to me in bed, not doing anything sexual, but we would be there hlding on to each other. Then he asked me to tell him something nice, I cannot remeber what I had said, but I do remeber telling him that no one should hurt his feelings. Oh now I remeber he said that he really cares about me.
Then we discussed about prom. He said we didnt have to dance if I dont want to, but if the DJ palys a song I want to dance to then we will dance, and vice versa. He also said he likes how I am confident and have a high self esteem. I told him about my crazy urege to walk in heels and have everyone look at me because I am beautiful and if anyone thinks otherwise then they can go somewhere. He laughed when I said that and he could hear the retainer in my mouth. He even laughed when I said penguin. Then he went on a tangent and told me how during the day his thoughts are scattred and then wehn he is alone his mind goes back to thinking about me. I had also told him about some of the things we talked about in the past, he said I remeber those things alot. I wanted to say that I cherish those things. I also wrote in my new Hello Kitty notebook.
As I am lying in my bed past of the middle of the night I just wish hope that I was thre with you by your side and you would be takling to me softly. The room would be dark and the only thing I would want to see is your eyes. I would be holding you is a relief in itself. Being with you makes me happy I am just bubbling inside. When I was sick and away from you I felt lonely. The phone call in the bed made me feel special. Then when the summer comes it will be a year and you said it would be offical for us.
Earlier this day, I was lying in my mom's bed like a hopeless romantic, wanting to hold his hand. I find myself reaching out to the right wanting to hold it. Hius finger tips are soft and yet his hand is smaller than mine. I was embarassed that my hand is larger than his...I felt self conscience. The air is mean to me because it doesnt fill in the empty space of my arms. Kenneth come hither and fill me in.


my donut-addict STOPS!