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♥ Friday, March 04, 2005♥

Last night there was a "mood" again and the story was continuing to be told. I had to stop him, it was too much at once. Well then today in school I was feeling kinda crapy. My painting that I am doing of Pris is really bad. I need to bring out the detail, I have been in a rut for a while. I feel that my potential is decreasing somewhat. I need to explode now, get a feeling a emotion and an insrpiration. I want that so much, it is driving me insane. I was driven to bawling in the art room because my painting can and will look better. I am just not getting to that level. I didn't talk at all during the 2nd period. In English I was extremely focused, I jumped into that timed writing topic so much. I had five minutes to go back and admire my work...

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to do anything just to get that swing back, that inspriation. Being inspired is a wonderful. My hands are so cold. My body is so cold. I want to go somewhere, for a day...just one day and observe the world and the envrioment that affects it. I would be quiet so that I would not be noticed. I need to get that feeling back, just being inspired is like a feeling that swells up inside me. I need it back, I need it s much. I think I am going to meditate.


my donut-addict STOPS!