<body>

♥ Thursday, March 17, 2005♥

Yesterday, I finally went to church again in a long time. Michelle always makes up these sorry excuses not to go and I bothers me and it annoys me. We were talking about how sin can overtake you and it was a good discussion. Some things that we did was how boys truthfully react to girls in the hallway. Some guys was like "dang" real loud and began grinning like insanity. Min. Lionel was telling us something out of Ecles. and when ever you are all alone. He told us a story about after one of his delimas and how he wasnted to win a girl over to God. It was a true senario, and when he left her house, God just showed him so much love he ended up stopping the taxi cab and walked home crying. But just from him telling us all of these stories it was just like an opening feeling to show me that he has a beautiful soul and that I would like to get to know him better. I was having a hard time sleeping last night, wondering what was his life like back in the day. I just wanted to be a little speck of dust or a shadow that could observe it and take note. Then I wonder, would I end up not liking him because of what he had done in the past. He is someone I could really learn from. He had came so close to death, but never died. He may have died inside a many of a time, but God kept watch over him. That makes him a truely wonderful person with a beautiful soul.
You reap what you sow. Min.Lionel reap greatness and God showed him that and he had wanted it and he is reciving it. I would just to have a sit down session and he can just tell all these stories and I would still be in awe. It can be the dark dirty and nasty ones, or the lighter happier ones, I do not care at all. I just want to know. Do that sound selfish? I dont think so. I wonder if I could document his life, but he probably...never mind. All I know he is a cool dude.
I also got a hug, four of them to be exact, that made me really happy. I also got a lingering handshake. It was soft and welcoming, I got bubbles afterwards and that also kept me up at night. That and Michelle's GITS music.
In drama another girl has the same ambitions to destroy someboy like I did whit what's his name. But she is not going to Youth so that she won't smash his head in. She blames everything on him. I hope she does well on her parking test.
I find myself today reaching out to the right side wanting to hold his soft hand. Should men have soft hands? I may have made him unconfortably sad when I made him let go. I just had to chicken out when his mom pulled up in the car. She could have ran me over. She was also annoyed with him because he was taking a long time to get in the car. Sorry if I got him in trouble. I also didnt want to hold hands becaue Michael could tell on me. In chuurch I was told no PDA and we do a hug fest like every big sunday. I miss him already.


my donut-addict STOPS!