♥ Wednesday, October 07, 2009♥

What do I look like in the eyes of others? Right now a two faced jerk and a baby. I was given some insight on what I want no what I need to do. What I should have been doing a long time ago. Grow up is what they told me, but then I get nursed is what happens. Finally I decided to grow up. Maturity does not happen in an instant, but over time. I am emotional, but look at the people that I see. Several female teachers at my job come from different areas and they hold power. That is the power that I wished for, I thought it was just being mean. However it is not. It is that I want to grow up and at the same time I dont want to.
In my class I was told the greater the risk, the greater the reward. I haven't been taking many risks that I need to move on. I need to stop living in the past. This is my personal insight...
I have to follow it. I wasn't respected in my last relationship, but I it has been nine months, and I am going to change that. When our year comes around I am going to make it into two.
I owe my siblings a huge apology, I was immature on my birthday. My main one goes to my brother...and I respect him so much I treated him insignifigantly (however you spell it) same with my sister, she will act like she don't care but she does.
I owe Tim an apology too, for crying to him for every little thing. He doesn't whine to me about his parents so why should I whine to him. I owe my mother an apology for being a brat, because I was a brat for the past week. I owe an apology to myself for acting so damn foolish when things don't go my way. The world is a cold place but there are people that care about you, and you gotta show them so they can care for you.

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Saturday, November 01, 2008♥

What is it that a teacher wants in a student? What do they see in a student whom they see great potential in? When Thanksgiving rolls around I never know who or what I am thankful for. I know one thing for sure besides my family is my teachers in college. My two main professors. I know as an artist it is kinda tough to get into the area but the way to get there is to get out. So then what? What do I do? The economy is crappy, so now this soon coming graduating class is going to be kinda tough to get jobs. But sometimes as a student should I care about what I do? I know I should care but...I don't know. I have so many things running through my mind. Internships, job opportunities, even one of the managers at Best Buy tells me he see's potential in me. So much pressure....and at the same time I enjoy it.....

Tell me what do teachers see in their students and what do they do to nourish it? What do teachers feel like if they didn't nourish the student enough....*sigh* The pressure.

Turns out I was voted (me and another student) to be the best person to be hired as a business partner.....wow wee

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Thursday, October 23, 2008♥

My last post was so long ago. So here is the deal. I am on this quest of suffering and finding my place. For the time being I don't know where I want to go. That even goes into career wise and everything. I am learning how to be broke and to deal with it. it is hard, trust me. Normally I have this super money bail out that comes to me and it solves all my problems...not this time. So time to deal. I can only afford gas right now as free spending moeny. I want to get some music but it has to wait.

My sister found She Is by Clazzuquai Project. I love this song so much. It is from the Korean Drama My Lovely Sam Soon and it is the song of extreme climax twists.

I made my mom worry about me, I keep telling her its nothing buecuase if I tell her what it really is then she will tell me what I already know. So for the time being I am locking myself up in my room until further notice. Now I must sleep next to the to rooms with coughing people and PRAY that I don't get sick. Right now I cannot afford it.

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Thursday, June 26, 2008♥

I have come to realize somethings. There are a lot of things that I want to do but reaching those goals can be hard. However I must not loose heart. So I didn't make the top 100 in my contest. There will be more. I am successfully losing weight and learning how to cook to an extent. This is turning out to be an eventful summer.
Sad to say I think I might be losing someone whom was very close to, but I think it is coming time soon to let them go, and they are not leaving me on bad terms.
My new semester might be kinda unique, I might be the prez of the new D.D.R Club. it is going to be tons of fun. I know it. This internship is working out really well. Just sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to to at this moment in time.
I came home from work a bit flustered because I had a ton of thinking to do.

Speaking of people to talk to, I was at the store the other day and some African taxi driver was like "hello Miss" so I ignored him at first but then he addressed me again So I said hello and kept on going.Hoping that he was gone he was not; he said "Hello, do you remember me?" and I was like "No I am sorry I do not, have a good day" Got in my car and drove off. Dude was too old for me anyway and it was dark in a parking lot. Real classy, every girl wants to meet their prince in a parking lot. Whatever.

I am not going to objectify myself as a lonely person. What wrong with being lonely it's much easier by myself. Plus last time I listened to people telling me to find a date the scariest and the saddest night of my life happened. So after that I just stopped talking to those people who suggested it. I think it is easier for me this way.

Well I am going to listen to some Joel Olsteen and make myself feel better. His words are so motivating.

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Saturday, May 24, 2008♥

So I just picked up a Wii Fit today, and so since I am considered overweight, I am going to do a new excercsie program with the accessory. Over the course of the summer I am going to aim to lose 15 pounds. Hopefully I can get down to a size 12. I am already on a good eating diet of the Metabo-meal. In addition of the Wii fit I will also be doing weight lifting to improve muscle mass. Wish me luck

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Monday, February 18, 2008♥

I am never going to bed late again! I want the hello kitty MMO

my donut-addict STOPS!

♥ Monday, January 28, 2008♥

Yeah I am back o what. Yeah I am so all like this and that and whatever. I am a new girl no longer dark and emo if I ever was emo! Well bak to school

my donut-addict STOPS!